Touch is all we need

The male world’s turned our senses inside out.

Contrary to popular (read dude-imposed) perception, vision is NOT our strongest or most evocative sense. I highly doubt that hearing is , either. I mean: that’s why we have dogs} to serve as our fluffy hearing aid. Now that the assault of industrial noise & speech causes cumulative hearing loss past 50 y.o (the process begins @10) ] –           it’s Deeeeefinitely out of the running.

The other day I was passing my hand over a cosy, circular, rattan table and had the urge to……massage my hands over it. its’ texture is Goldilocks :

the right combo of smooth & stimulating ridges. it also led me to think that womens’ hands almost certainly constructed this object to be pleasant like this, as weaving has been a universally female pursuit since forever.

Ever since I went radical —– I recovered ALL of my senses mentally & physically. Touch& smell , however, have led the pack. The latter turns out to be a problem more often than not, as males love dousing themselves in absolutely suffocating perfume [which feels more like chemical weaponry than personal care]

I’ve been tormented by touch deprivation since the age of 8, and most acutely – since my migration to anglo-sphere 4 years later {(in)famous for being touch -frigid}. it’s specifically female + animal touch-feeliness which I crave, so dude-coupledom for that goal was never an object for me already before the onset of acute man-hating.And since then the desire to cuddle palatable creatures has become overwhelming.

Not that I came from a very touchy-feely place {nowhere near Spanish-speaking regions]}. but it certainly wasn’t at the frosty, completely phobic level things ‘re at here. After 17 years of this – I feel like I live in a POW camp. Apparently , the clinical term for it = “skin hunger”.      oh, spare me,,,,,:_(

And that’s not an exaggeration. All female people’re POWs of men’s eternal war on us. It’s not an accident that sight & hearing’ve been made into the only useful senses & that they’re assaulted daily by Mary Daly-coined foreground waste.

^how they Suffer as a result: . : Short-sight is an epidemic thanks to the onslaught of screens,. sreens,.. screens!! In fact, I’m struggling with it as I type this .,. as I ‘ve no clue where my glasses are. I’ve blown up my screen to Grandpa level.H

Hearing loss is now so common that it’s normalised as happenning in middle age, but guess what people….?

It ain’t normal. ~  It is  entirely  a product of industrial noise _ &high population density.                           ***MAN”S noise & Man’s rape products.




the Others

Spoiling the only 2 memorable movies I ever saw Nicole Kidman + Scarlett Johansson in

..for a good cause , I promise!


The films in question, just about summarise female existence in the world to me:

  1. The Others
  2. Girl with Pearl Earring


The 1st is a simple ghost story with a twist

…where the protagonist mum & children turn out to be the ghosts haunting the house they’re convinced they LIVE in.

^ Eponymous of 3.5 + billion of us, who slide thru this world , having no impact on its big * small structures

The former equates ear -piercing to = the grand, nasty intercourse , which forms the fabric of our lives {even for the few of us who manage to live around it}

And it’s Accurate indeed.

  • A young girl’s ear is poked thru to create a hole with a foreign object.
  • It aches &bleeds initially
  • Then another foreign object is inserted into the hole. with the intention of wearing it regularly for life. this objects is shiny, pretty & utterly conceals the ugly process of flesh mutilation
  • The hole must be used frequently enough to avoid the pain experienced @ the outset , from coming back
  • Pre-cautions must be taken to pursue earring wear:                                            New ones must be sanitised; Activities  where the hole can get torn or uncomfortable,   must not be undertaken;


This is either done to  females when they’re too young + powerless to protest


They do it to themselves slightly older, having been convinced that they want it

Continue reading “the Others”

Neanderthals R us

Now that i’m in wacky theory mode: *check out my previous one; I’ve come with the biggest one of my existence. Luckily for me:

There is actual genetic evidence for Aspies* carrying Neanderthal DNA

I’ve been trying to crack the mystery of female autism since diagnosis 2 years back. Female ~ because the male version of it is so drastically different that it might as well be called a different condition.

It’s become increasingly evident to me that “autistics are quite simply allergic to modern society on a deep cellular level”. Think of it as an allergy: ovaried aspies are @ epi-pen level; while male ones are merely intolerant. This is because society itself is structured around male nature, so the doods have enough  privileged trade-offs to balance out their allergy. Aforementioned DOODs also possess a bunch of female carers to outsource their communication& exec. functioning to, so the poor dears never ought to carry, ya know,   the support beams their society rests on///

What can I say? Must be a real weight off their shoulders….!! Poor dears. Now where’re the sarcastic smilies when you need theM??

Both introverts and autistics are highly inconvienient to the Regime of the capitalist & generally male machine. You see – it’s damn hard to make us mindlessly buy things & follow social rules without question. WE’re also neurologically sensitive & therefore avoidant to man’s giant machine of White Noise ~ literally, as relentless industrial noise is akin to POW torture for the growing nos of ‘”noise-sensitive”. Worst of all  (darn it ! how dare we?!) – we haven’t entirely lost our bond with nature (*bottom of the necrophilic pyramid). We have just as, or often stronger , bonds with animals, plants & holistic everything, over homo sapiens.

We also rely on our internal world to enrich us: ~~ TOUGh to make someone, who gets her highs from a nice walk & pet cuddle, to run after the iPhone *whichever stupid no. they're up to* when the current one works perfectly fine. I'm @ my most peaceful + enjoyably stimulated when I'm as far away as I can get from it all in body & soul. Right now I'm listening to minimalist, atmospheric, profoundly un-pop music on radio; nocturnal energy & my own thoughts....and it's the most alive (bold) I've felt in ages -~..because those ages were filled up mens' getting thru mens'soul-destroying day-time labour camp routine. I did not consume, produce, reproduce, obey to arrive @ this wonderful state.: I didn't consume any substances or music; and most certainly did not produce another human to add to the 7.7 billion we already sport. The material I'm producing here won't count as a Product under the system as its' Disobedience @ its' most insolent.

Before I discovered this striking connection of HFA to Neanderthal DNA: (link) , I had already arrived @ this conclusion in the same way that Galileo- Copernicus figured out the roundness of the Earth without a satellite __ by mathematical deduction.  Because if we aren’t pre-historic humans> what else can we possible be? The shoe fits ~~~does it not`? It certainly is for us XX aspies *(grunies), as everything points to us being Original, pre-patriarchal, Females.

You see – patriarchal conditioning very much feeds on multiple loops of neuro=plasticity.  Brain Inflammation creates rigidity (I finally grasp why it’s called ‘rigid thinking’ now. the concept is flipped on its’ head!) as part of whole-body inflammation autistics suffer (link . That concept makes us unadaptable to the endless pyramids of “civilisation” (ahem!),, where we’re required to adapt to like boiling frogs until we’re….literally boiling from global warming & all else making our environments intolerable for a living creature. So we end up being <frozen in time>.

This leads me to think that extroversion = late stage adaptation to high pop. density. Because it’s created by LOW NEURO-sensitivity & thus a tolerance towards inhuman overload of light, sound, human energy, small personal space. IMethinks that it acts like a wooly blanket wrapped the original human neuro-wiring…. As it also produces a low adrenaline rush [really NOT a good idea in pre-historic times, when running away from beasts, or our very own males woulda been crucial].


This wooliness tambien results in a low propensity towards deep & logical (read ~unpatriarchal) thought process; lower IQ + creativity. Now this is most important: it creates a need for external highs so readily on offer in modern consumerist model, and earlier – mens’ mandated cultural rites.Introversion must therefore exist on the same sliding scale as autism ( as well the new-fangled HSP), as all 3 share more-or-less the same set of traits of varying severity.

Extroversion in Womyn is also a way of drowning out any un-phallocractic questioning. There is #Good Reason for chattiness == female-ness in the common conscience. This is because small talk blocks deep thinking like a dam.




Solve for seX


FGM is classic example of male uber-lying. The pricks knew exactly what the clit is for & how far into labial structure it spreads ,, millenia back. Ours pretended ignorance until yesterday. The most extensive forms of FGM excise all the sensitive tissue under effect of clitoral arms. I’ve no doubt that the less severe practitioners use the extreme ones as “lookie here, we’re being kind!” in the same manner that FGM in general is used on us – unmutilated ‘clitoris-havers’.

Our males’re ‘benevolent’ to let us keep ours, but then use them against us. Without them, orgasms’d just be a tension release button to end female bonding sessions (like bonobos). They’d be no neuro-plastic desire for ‘sex’. I harp on about this cos I still can’t believe just HOW neuro-plastic it is.

..Until I went full feminazi – I was climbing walls since age 17 ( I even drugged myself with Prozac for a bit (it kills libido stone cold). Yet the moment that I shifted to a SCUM mentality > it was like a spell instantly lifted

(the potion consisted of being bombarded with sex posie stimulus since before you hit puberty & then being just frustrated enough to keep feeding the loop < hoping for satisfaction).

And this is without ever being drawn into the infamously addictive ((&laced with misery +diminishing returns like all addictions) loop of intercourse !!!! Western +western influenced females run around like hamsters in wheels from dawn till dusk of their lives as men deprive us of every other pleasure & thus make us feel every ecstasy & desire for it as a sexual thing.

I once had a head massage that felt so pleasurable that made me confused (cos ‘sexual’ is elevated above all tactile pleasure, thus anything this good MUST be a sex thing).

Of course Valerie saw this too – and condensed it down to a single sentence in SCUM. Once you break the loop – you still experience the hormonal peaks, but they feel like a beastly male invasion. – they’re not pleasant anymore and you recoil from everything sexual as a gross thing (yes, you become a ‘prude’). BUt, but,- you still crave sensual contact denoted as sexual by males (eg. nipple stimulation or neck kissing). Hell, you can simulate “Sexual” stimulus with a stream of water of the right pressure!

Think carefully without male lens:


Who handed down the dictate of those electrically pleasurable actions as belonging to SEX? And what is SeX, really, once you take PIV out of it?


Also consider this:

Males AREN’t sexual beings. Their single-minded obsession with their appendage & emptying it into orifices stems from their chromosomal programming of self-perpetuation @ all costs. The pleasure they get from it is SECONDARY & there to motivate them into the act – like eating tasty food is a pleasure motivating nutrition. Men are not sexually motivated by beauty or sensuality…which leaves, er, what exactly? Their genitals & their function is so instinctively gross to us > that it’s clearly not designed to stimulate sexual pull in us either.


Add those 2 things up & solve for SEX.


Holistic connection to women is the Y in this. I’ve experienced such overwhelming desire to connect with specific girls+ women in any form that I’ve tossed up possibility of being bi younger. It was extra confusing , as it was both a physical & mental pull; + getting female bodies shoved in your face all the time for the male gaze makes you only consider them as erotic. AS in ” female beauty +energy + personality=sex”


Like every other wacky radfem thought out there —- this one isn’t an original creation of mine. It’s already been put forward by the wonderfully wacky Sonia Johnson

However, it really has to be experienced personally to be believed & pushed thru your own maze of experience & resistance from the trifecta of camps who unite according to the enemy of my enemy principle:

(1) conservatives; 2)sex posies; 3) radical lesbians*


*Not lesbian radfems. Just those who don’t question the sexual| sensual context outside of lesbian experience, & how it fits into overall puzzle


As a deep introvert, I also find the sexy-sexy universe to be stressful. My perfect state is that of not being full to the brim of energy which demands to be released NOW NOW now. And which leaves you, well,, blue (post orgasm come-down in women, or more often orgasm-less frustration) + silly about the resources you spent on the ridiculousness of it all. And it is inherently ridiculous (picture rutting animals). Once you take away males – it minuses the violence, but not their ridiculous imbedded presence in the fabric & concept of it.


Thus I hazard a guess that lesbians do not magically exist outside of this neuro-plastic cycle of enforced sexual algebra, or so-called asexuals.

aaaand I’ll add a genuinely original wacky thought of my own. I’m TrustYourPerceptions’ biggest fan and have directed to her outstanding genetic analysis repeatedly. I also use it as inspiration for my out-there evolutionary theories.

So here’s one:

If men have the bio-influence to synch our menstrual cycles (for women living together), what if sex drive hormones are their doing too? & that they’re overlaid on top of our intense non-sexual sensuality >confusing us into thinking that we want males (or even ourselves) via “sex”. After all – libido is produced by testosterone + peaks twice in our cycle : once precisely when dudes need it – Ovulation &

again @ menstruation (is this also for their timing??)





No siree, I’m not anxious-depressed; I have Patriarchal Intolerance Fatigue

It’s the new BPD in town! Really! Let’s call it PIF, shall we?

The latest episode in inducing my PIF is denial of disabled assistance…based on being a hysterical female _ belonging to the class of illnesses such as Fybromyalgia, auto-immune, ME. Even sharing the same diagnosis as many males who DO get support doesn’t help cause I have Lady Autism*

*clearly not as big + important as the male kind, 
which when not catered to, sends its patients a tinsy bit nuts
on the rapey-murdery scale affecting Eurydice Dixons of this world.

You see, having ovaries = I only have a spot of HFA(high-functioning autism). It’s  compounded with crippling female socialization (IE. raised to be an invisible ghost-like servant without a body, mind or need & wants). Certainly not one that become chronically sick and isn’t trained to ask for help for herself.

.,.this results in me being unable to ask for assistance when I topple from my walker in a public space due to unbelievably idiotic design of said space. You know what happens then? First thing I do while struck by intense pain & fear of serious injuries is not to yell for help + swear. Oh no. Gotta be ladylike 1st. So I pull down my skirt!!!!!!!!%$#@! Once I do gently ahoy, I still can’t get the staff to push my walker out to car & fold it up. So I do it myself, quietly screaming & beating myself up for being unable to push the boulder of female ‘niceness’ (oppression) off myself + feeling nauseous from effort *& anger.

Being a woke woman HURTS. sO very bad. It’s like Locked in Syndrome. Now I have  bodily injuries to add to my mental pain, which I acquired from men banging me up without ever laying a finger on me: they don’t always have to, you see – their systems do the job for them. `It’s being sane in insane word & carrying around internal Hannibal Lector suit to prevent you from screaming in pain from that knowledge. I have a ground down tooth with stripped enamel from repressing my rage. Turns out that it’s a common female dental phenomenon.

Cherryblosomlife in the Radfem Hub archives wrote a beautiful last piece Life and death of Virginia Woolf describing this exact phenomenon: of women desperately staving off becoming woke to avoid this misery& burden. So female non-misfits spend their lived “depressed” (harbouring repressed anger) + take it out on us woke misfits. When we explain the reason for their state|they shoot the messenger [you]& go on sticking their heads in the sand while abusing you harder. _________________________

I’m so damn tired of dealing with ostriches drowning in internalized chauvinism AND tired of busting my gut fruitlessly trying to extricate their heads from the sand while they peck me.

Guess what the saddest thing is? It’s that I and other elemental radicals are not naturally depressive people. I know for a fact that I’m not.  This is precisely why I hate living in a depressive world fostered by anti-life beings. It never ceases to amaze me how I still come back like a phoenix from a typical female life of:



being used as a punching bag for other womens’ oppression


gaslighting (that there’s something wrong with ME and not this utterly bonkers world)


MAN-made illness

suppression of my talents & smarts

,,.and STILL manage to juice something enjoyable of this half-life. My existence can be summarized as: “This doesn’t add up. Where do I find info that does? OOH, it’s hidden away on the womens’ dark web (elemental radfem blogs). But I’m not supposed to believe those evil man-haters. Well, it’s too late. What to do now?”

See the source image