Reproductive Chemistry

Gather round, children. today I tell the tale of SkaterBoy+SkaterGirl & the reason why nigh near every one of their vids has comments in the vein of “ Why aren’t they together?!?” For they have been a great disappointment to their loyal steeds (the fans) ever since they ended their “officially boinking each other” status a long 18 years back. Thing is: they possess something that the casual observer is struck by; something which gets sold to the naive masses as “lurve”. & it really is palpable. But what is ^look @ title^. In fact , their real crime is being nitwits , who wasted a golden opp to produce some super-bebes..but went ahead & bred with others! doubly so!!

ughhhh////Nitwits, I tell ya. Had they listened to the call of nature, they’d produce some bush-baby-eyed kiddies. ‘Tis a travesty

but i’m getting ahead of myself here. Let me introduce them formally (as i’ve already used them in prev. 2 posts). Drum-roll for these 2 lovelies. Boy really lucked out on the racial-mix lottery, turning out just pasty+ swarthy enough in the right doses ( much like woman below)

How very lucky for him.

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In the dark age of ’96; they met under unaspicious circumstances, while blading around among the ice-elite of St. Petersburg. It’s summarised here {all real dramatic, Prince Charming swooping in to save Snow White, because her evil woodsman (1st partner) bashed her head in with a skate}. Mind u, that story gets darker than they tell here. The cherub used to find herself locked up in their flat without keys, or $, while the skull-bashing headcase went on 2-day benders. He also dropped her from lifts on purpose

+this is proof of disillusionment about Prince Charming being ya reg. testerical dude down below. In context of extraordinary value of suitable skating partners, his noble chivalry in rescuing Lena,,doesn’t seem quite as remarkable as to the laywoman. I mean -people skaters change citizenships + learn languages for that purpose

they skated together for a total of 11 years + the odd performance in the years after, maintaining a bromance once the romance wore off + behaving in a confusing manner. Like in sultry performances:

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Weirdly coupley hair adjustment @ 1.42. or is it ‘injuired birdie fetish’ playing out? hmmm

I mean, u could argue that they do it for the public,,but in that case :Goodness, Stanislavsky himself ‘d rise from the grave >merely to applaud that he BELEVES them

Truth is, what they’ve mined so very prodigiously is their striking REPRODUCTIVE MATCH

U can see their common ability to pull of colour combos, which should logically make ur eyes hurt😃🤣

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honestly, they just kinda exude IT. Common joy of skating together too

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look @ those glowing faces!!!!^

They could play their matched LOOK in various ways . Goldilocks + Handsome Prince here

as if breathed into life by a romance novel author here^

whimsical +heart-breakingly arty here

1 commentator gasped that she jumped as high as he did….while having legs about 30cm shorter. another –that they skate as 1 + @very high speed. Thus matched athletic skill + speed right there

Now why-oh-why did these soulmates outstandingly matched reproductive partners not mash their DNA together?!?! Goddess-darn-it !@#$

Well, like it oftentimes is:::Tis the Lad… 1 of these days, boy looked @ his reflection,>observed the ultra-bangability,>aaaaaaaand proceeded to use it for pleasure + gain to SUCH an extent ,that u wonder how the damned thing didn’t fall off in the process😌😁 . Girl consequently went off to procreate with a Brit-flake, but had the sense to secure Skanky Boy as god-parent, ..who is now indirectly feeding her (rather unappealing bebes. this is what happens when u don’t match properly !); once The Flake flaked out.

Boy went on to marital-gigolo to some well-off lasses, but that didn’t last. Off-handedly mentioned that maybe he + Girl shoulda just tied the DNA-mooshing knot (AKA marriage) while they were young

Now these 2 unfulfilled pro-creative halves have disappointed the hell outa their audience,;produced 4 kiddies with sub-par mating stock,; +both divorced & now past heathy age of Mini-Me production

what’cha gonna do, eh??

Seriously though : \ this is what natural hetero-sentiments’re all about -Ze Bebes. This is what mutual chemistry is _why is it so magical to observe when channeled correctly

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