what is love? baby, don’t hurt me..no more


this song goes to the heart of something I must tackle


…the concept of LOVE

We all already know about the prevalence of that famous Swedish city behind the syndrome, but I feel that there is more to discuss


Namely – a woman’s subjective feeling of being loved, or loving a man. there seems to be a bit of a shut-down, sometimes, the moment the L-word is trotted out.

I truly & deeply subscribe to the notion that a male simply will not offer anything beyond Transactional Affection. The clever ones will behave benevolently , if they so choose – as they see dividends in the total adoration & offering up of body+soul that flows back from a woman/girl in response ( but only if they remain on top in all material +organizational sense). I personally feel overwhelmed whenever a man does something, anything  of normal human value ( in decency +emotion). Super basic things – like kiss a puppy, or a chiropractor treating a patient in an attuned, gentle manner… but only when he does it to somebody else. It always feels realistic when done to me – on the ‘2 in  a lifetime’ occasions this has occurred (not sure if it even adds up to that!)

When you’re used to seeing your sadistic guards outside , while you’re pacing your cage – you ‘re stunned when 1’ll extend a flower thru the cage.  i wish it was only stunned , in fact. For all those normal-emotive XXers out there & not the restrained, cynical types (which I am ) – this develops into something much, much worse

Which is why I  must  lay out my own, personal definition of Love. it was inspired by watching a young woman +her sheepdog enjoy each other outside of my window. They ran thru those fancy exercises, where the doggie does Figure-8s thru the mistress’ legs, caught a frisbee// …but then the dog just leapt into the lady’s arms spontaneously & they spent a few moments loving up on each other.  My heart melted


Now…, i  know full -well that domestic canines ‘re imprisoned creatures, who traded their wolf-freedom for hopefully a longer life +steadier food with humans/ In fact, i’m starting to think that it’s possibly women  who domesticated them – as in they chose to follow us to camp -sensing that WE’d be fair to them in return for their loyalty+work. it all went TERRIBLY wrong once our the parasites of our species cut in on the deal/ of course, it did! what don’t they fucking ruin?!

But still – it registers to me as a form of acceptable love, under the circumstances. It flows back & forth on the same channel. Dogs’re programmed to look up to the pack leader & were before we became a team, but they also aren’t stupid – they can sense human emotions better than we can sometimes

& women’re programmed to bond with anything  – even inanimate objects.  Because we’re awesome that way + we know how to vibe along with life with life, without clobbering it into submission


So here it goes:


love is patient. love is  kind. & all that Bible business

but what is NOT

is subjective, or coercively obtained

How how in Dead Sea Hippie’s name!? do I wrangle this concept down into words?>?

Well, to me it is simply a form of strong mutual bonding, of equal value, built-up over time , via a series of binding experiences.  & it is not something that can be erased retrospectively. But here’s the Horcrux of it

it must rest on a feeling of safety


Seeing as absolutely ALL male transactional affection is inherently unsafe & women must be lulled into a false feeling of it >this leads me to the following resolution


For as long as I live, I will never , ever, refer to the bonding of males -to-females as LOVE

for this is (not only!) a travesty, (which leads to much betrayal trauma) ; but an inaccuracy which a pedant, like myself – shan’t accept

Just like a woman’s rose-coloured perception of rape doesn’t render it mute as being rape – her perception of love cannot be held subjectively valid in this regard. I cant’ stress the subjective part enough, in fact . for all the believer that I am [in grey areas]- this one MUST be Black +White like a chessboard


Now, back to the mundane

That song is evocative to me : In the year of yonder, *1996*, my mama undertook some aerobics classes to it – to get into shape – for the booty-sale pics – that’d get us here/  highly educational stuff  on the reality of the world  to a super-smart girl & her super-educated mummy



6 thoughts on “what is love? baby, don’t hurt me..no more

    1. Yup, there isn’t a male on the planet who does unconditional love, non-transactional ‘love’. There always has to be something in it for him. always, even if it isn’t immediately apparent. On some level, every female knows this, but there is this weird chemical and emotional effect of extreme gratitude after a crumb of reciprocation from a male that negates and reframes all the feelings of being used and abused and neglected and objectified. It is powerful shit.

      Liked by 2 people

  1. The son lemming-bond is worse than the het – one . You can’t create new males , coddle them , unleash them on the world, & only THEN act like menz dropped out of sky with their machinations…..

    Liked by 1 person

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