Lesbophobe&anti-natalist, you say?<

 

the same rad,who deemed me a racist..also brought down the hammer on a 2nd offense:

lesbophobe {based on Dead to Me,where i challenged social sex-obsession}

fortunately i’ve recently discovered my soul-sister,whose view on everything aligns with my own .top of the list are race, sex,+slur-slinging. she outlined it all beautifully succinctly here:

https://storyendingnever.wordpress.com/2017/10/17/what-about-women-forced-sexuality-part-iii/

People are so very tribal, and what they like least of all are those straddling tribes (remember that Hollywoo moment in mid-90s,when bi-sexuals were the height of evil//..)

OR renouncing tribal allegiance  en toto.

..and this precisely what sexually unaligned women like me &this author do. It aint’ pretty,when feminist discourse is so heavily rooted in the ins&outs (pun intended)of genitalia dictating our lives.

& it makes fems antsy.specially young,insecure lesbian ones(as pointed out by this author)&this specific gal does seem insecure indeed.

*i’m emotionally gay. i always have been ,,like the author above. my search for female approval &deep energetic connection has run my life. i don’t even know whether my intense pull towards certain women+girls (1 produced a dream which felt  erotic, yet nothing of the kind happened in it). females i despised still felt like memorable individuals to me.i’ve trouble processing Y-carriers as my species *so that duping us into thinking they’re female doesn’t work on me (not the Ts, what Trust talked about)

i also don’t wish to reproduce mentally, but my hormones do. and ASD brains produce either hypersexuality, or asexuality in women, which is fundamentally wired to our fertility) &nothing in between,and it tapers off with age (and in my case) undoing the neuro-plasiticity.

i’ve had such thoughts myself, but here they are re-affirmed here:https://cherryblossomlife.wordpress.com/2019/10/14/fuck-ive-just-realized-why-we-need-to-know-who-the-father-is/

..in times past;whenever i ovulated, I’d scan mens’ bodies for nice parts (namely hands).it still did nothing to pull me towards them personally. they were drones as much as ever.once (when i was 26 & in peak reproductive age),i met a man who overwhelmed  me with something undefinable. i didn’t react to his photo, but when i was around him even briefly }that desire was the post powerful thing i ever felt,…’which pulled me into doing wacky ,extremely uncharacteristic things like risking my job &future commendation to sleep with him. He too was almost completely a personal drone. /

but, but

it should be noted that he was very Mestizo-Hispanic.he came from a country with a high concentration of indigenous blood in the mixed populace. and CBL mentions the dif.race part, & mixed race humans have a well-earned rep for looking attractive, or at the very least interesting. So racism doesn’t compute in women ~since genetic diversity is  very  good for our offspring. in fact, this is why racism exists in men!! to control women ~to avoid them wandering away & mating with the other tribe.pure-blood beings only exist as a product of mens/ millenia-long shielding of women from this. so in essence…

patriarchy is reproductively unhealthy. Marrying 1 male of the same tribe &producing 14 offspring with him is 14 times a genetic fail. 13 of those being the most egregious, because once doesn’t produce any siblings available to in-breeding

in fact,,i’d speculate that this is an extra reason (on top of dude-meds+poison of everything) as to why why we’re so flipping ill these days.look what happens to pure-bred dogs,esp, when the breeding stock is narrow. and what happened to european royalty.the only reason they aren’t hemophilic these days -is via infusion of non-royal blood in recent time.

what i don’t support about CBL’s stance is her not translating a search for genetic health into anti-natalism for the genetically unhealthy.there is good reason why DOwn syndrome sufferers are sterile.~because Nature is a eugenicist.

 

my aspie , radiated father shoulda known better than to breed & auties shouldn’t reproduce in general. This is the woefully un-PC opinion of the face of autism (Temple Grandin). i support it.my long-suffering chronically ill friend also knew better:she chose not to have the 2 kids she planned _cos she couldn’t bare to inflict her kind of pain on anybody else.

so anti-natalists (not the mysogynist kind) are not sick in the head, or evil fascists out to curtail the maternal instinct cos they’re feeling evil that day. instinctively,i think we know that the jig is up with our kind of life on this planet &under this regime.thanks to that same female intuition witchy radfems praise.

in fact, this kind of blind support for some womens’ drive to pro-create is kinda……lib-femmy.why don’t the proponents of the Anti-Mother Hate camp listen to their other intuition ,eh?isnt that like tuning into only AM radio&dismissing all FM-listeners as AM-haters?why don’t they heed the cries of ASD<HSP<introvert XXs,whom extrovert motherhood (the only 1 on  offer) is killing in body&mind!>!

after all, there ‘re other animals who practise anti-natalism . Kangaroos freeze joey embryos in lean season, rats in overcrowded cage kick males trying to mate +continue to do that after being removed into better space.our very close chimp relatives miscarry when a new team of males overtakes.in fact:human females do that too with new dick-sticker .

it’s illogical to dismiss anti-natalism as being against nature. are those kangaroo would-be-mums ….mother-haters?!can we at least commit to a freeze on our joey-production until we sort this male global mess out? ideologically>as of course women can’t help being used as child-factories when they have no say&can’t/wont help taking it out on daughters. also women do not become saints when they reproduce . if they were shit humans to start with>they don’t go through a magical personality cleanse.in fact, they ‘re likely to worsen with the inhuman suffering inflicted in them via the process.all i experience with statements such as every woman’s child is perfect to her is…

 

yeah,right….

it is ,again, not practised in nature~where unviable cubs are abandoned, or whether saving them risks the mum’s life too much. this indoctrination stems to Victorian times.

like said here , don’t trust your feelings &how society milks them. for instance, i grieve my poor puppy lost to a hideous genetic disease,but that doesn’t compel me to get another one  of the same breed.in fact, it made me re-assess the whole existence of pure-bred dogs:

https://icemountainfire.wordpress.com/

 

….so why aren’t women who have enough cerebral agency to override their fertile -sexual drive celebrated, or just simply listened to, eh???? why is mind-over-matter not  virtue and feelings reign supreme in womens’ space -to promote only sexual lesbianism; mindless pro-creation, or whatever else the feminist’s heart desires?

 

To go back to female-mimicking , there is 1 male who managed to so successfully.Nope, he didn’t chop off his genitals and wear lippy IRL.He was merely born so XX-like that it’s uncanny. the remarkable thing, however,is that he’s not effeminate, but naturally almost woman-like.Everything about him from facial type ..to body language..to energy…to behaviour ,,to how he hugs a child.   .and it’s not something You-KNOW-Whos can ever dream of doing with all their slicing, dicing, painting, & tantrums

This guy’s name is Jaime Camil.I’ve spent 5 season watching him on Jane the Virgin, seen 2 of his novelas & some movies& watched extensive interviews in fascination.it’s like i don’t register him as a dude despite him doing such a dudely thing as marrying, breeding a Y & splashing it all over SM as a virtue.wierder still is his choice of woman too:a thoroughly odd-looking ex-model.-with a face only a mother could love & def. not one dudes would choose as arm-candy status symbol.dude’s a great screen kisser too ,unlike the aggressive male style you see. i saw several, maybe 5 min. scenes when he did nothing but kiss+nuzzle gently&with variation.<so no dude sexual aggression observed either.

back in his native Mexico he was grilled relentlessly over his ‘metrosexuality’.they couldnt pin him down cos he’s not gay, or intersex,or trans, or limp-wristed.  GNC ppl,who are not of the LGB tribe are distrusted (tribe outliers)

so what the hell is he,i wonder?statistical outlier,or did he get bathed in estrogen in the womb or something? or is it that feminisation process that’s been continuing for several millenia,where sexual dimorphism&alpha facial structure  reduced>is he the male of the future (as in the only kind women MIGHT consider humping willingly)      >>

so weird &wonderful.and he doesn’t jump onto his co-star’s self-serving male feminist platform,but doesnt spout any direct sexism either.it’s like he’s content in his special club of 1.like he gained entrance to holistic female-ness,while being male-privileged.no wonder he’s a deliriously joyful person&projects it around him.Everyone who’s worked with him,described his presence as a “wave of love’ or something similar.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

36 thoughts on “Lesbophobe&anti-natalist, you say?<

  1. ^this is why i don’t buy into bio-connection mummy Woo . a baby’s smell, or trauma-bonding or chemical connection to her does. NOT .= LOVE & willingness to burden yourself for life.that stuff is hormonal, and may not even last past baby-hood as mammals rarely nurse young for long.

    And it’s not from being un-bonded after birth either. My gestator was plenty bonded with me and still loathed my f_ing guts.it felt like she punished me for instigating that bond.

    And every birthed woman has the right to have her life back &adopt the kid out if that is best for her, or the kid. valorising bio-motherhood universally guilts&tricks women +daughters.and it makes them feel like they have no choice but drag along with lead boots on for the rest of their life & punish the offspring for ending her independent life.

    Women aren’t always tethered to life joyously. often it hurts beyond measure and we wish that we were more numb like men. so unhappy mums feel compelled to keep the product alive,but make sure to make that living a tragedy cos-misery loves company

    nowadays women feel dragged into making a big deal out of miscarriages

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  2. I’ve been thinking a lot about this stuff. I don’t belong to any group either and it is very lonely and confusing. I’m bisexual leaning towards the lesbian side but also attracted to some little cute men who are more female looking. Mixed people are always definitely more attractive and there are definitely lots of cute little Hispanics. I was with a Hispanic guy for a long time. After that fell apart and I had to deal with him turning into an asshole and everything I’ve learned till now of how predatory men are, I don’t know if I have any attraction towards men anymore. I was attracted to so few of them as it was. I was with a man but I wasn’t straight and never fit into the straight culture, didn’t want to change my name and be a man’s helper and start having kids and all that. But I was still essentially “passing” for straight because I was with a man and not having to deal with people’s hatred and judgement for that.

    Now I’m thinking maybe I’m just basically a lesbian because even though I have some attraction towards a small number of men I also find them repulsive and can’t help thinking about all this predatory and violent nature that surrounds maleness. But I don’t want to be part of some lesbian culture either. I don’t want to be part of any culture based on sexuality, I just find it weird. I get why it’s like that, the hetero culture was created and forced by men and the lesbian culture was created to escape that and find solidarity from oppression. But I am not interested in any of it, I just want to be loved and have someone to love. I don’t know if women would want me because I think women loving women are generally part of this culture and there’s all this stuff that comes with just finding someone to love. It’s left me very confused. I thought my relationship with my ex would be lifelong and was happy being with him until it fell apart.

    I want a partner but now I’m so confused how to find one because men have made sexuality so weird. If I search for a male partner, most of them are so fucked up and I wonder if all of them are, but if I try to find a female partner there’s so much that comes with that with it being a whole culture and all the hatred and judgement and don’t know if I could deal with that. I don’t want to deal with people’s judgments anymore. I already feel like I’ve been a freak in this culture my whole life. I’m already afraid of men’s insane violent behavior and seeing stuff about women going on dates and some group of men punching them in the face, of course there’s always worse too, is all getting to me. I’m already scared of how violent they are and don’t know if I could handle attracting any more creepy fuckers to make life miserable if I was going out with a woman. I feel like I’m just going to be alone now forever because of how fucked up all this is. It’s really depressing.

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    1. I’m a lot like you: IN that: I just gave up trying to find a label for myself. I still have quite a bit of physical erotic energy…-but mentally it’s all gone/ I could never deal with male genitalia,7 or hairiness even before I knew all this TYP stuff about semen being toxic &all that. In fact, i remember scanning that guy i keep talking about& finding him blissfully hairless (native amer.gene!].For some reason,Europeans belong to the hairiest humans alive,& the men’re just hirsuite. While Chinese don’t even bother with body-shaving!

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      1. Lol the hairiness always freaked me out so bad too. And since I’m fairly hairy naturally from my Mediterranean genes and in a culture where I’m expected to remove it and never let any of it show, the thought of being attracted to some dude who’s so hairy he looks like a werewolf is all the more ridiculous after I do so much grooming on myself. I’ve also always been attracted to native American and Asian men for that reason and they are generally close to my size plus Asian head hair is so sexy too.

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    2. the ‘falling apart bit’ is tale as old as time. Did it happen when u got ill?

      FCM extolled her partner to an eye-rolling level back when she started blogging.As she wrote after the break-up>>>he was never that great to start with &turned on her as soon as she became fully ill&dependent.

      ^~men sniff out power dynamics like no tomorrow.Women THINK they’re in these egalitarian pairings until something happens to majorly disempower them&Voila!she watches in disbelief as it crumbles before her eyes. Most common happenings are Reproduction &Invalidity.

      in the cultures where men aren’t obligated to reel women in before the kill (ie.marital-reproductive entrapment)-they don’t bother with any nicety at any point. Genderists mistake that for Social Programmin’. It’s really just mens’ adaptive laziness.One of the few things they perform well is Acting.~so they put on a play when they’re pushed to

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      1. Actually, I had been unwell for almost all of our relationship, dealing with various levels of sickness, problems with old and new injuries, and death and trauma. He took care of me through so much of it and was extremely kind and loving for a long time. It got to be too much for him and he snapped. After I took all my classes, and then no longer had student loans to count on, he got stuck with even more responsibility. My dad killed himself right when I was supposed to take the exam to finish the degree, suffice it to say I failed that even after getting an extension. Then I got sicker and sicker for years and wasn’t able to start the business I had prepared almost everything for, or find any sort of job that could make a decent amount of money. I did transcription but that made so little it was almost nothing. When I got to the point where I was getting sort of functional again and finishing the degree and starting a business that’s when he was getting meaner and more distant. I’m better than I have been in so many years and can actually do a lot now and have started making some money that can only increase as I work more, but after taking care of me for so long he dumped me when I’m doing sort of well again. I don’t understand it. I don’t understand at all how he suddenly got so cruel and wouldn’t even talk to me about anything. He moved out all his personal items then said everything in the house was mine. It was hard to get him to help with any of our shared things like kitchen stuff and all that and we separated all this stuff out to take to goodwill to donate and he lied and said he took it there, but instead the boxes ended up here for me to deal with and I assume he threw the bag of my old clothes in the trash. When I sorted out more stuff to take to donate he refused to help and yelled at me to throw it in the trash and that it doesn’t benefit him so he didn’t care. He wouldn’t help get rid of anything and just kept yelling to throw everything in the trash and tried to throw away a bunch of things without me going through it, even a big bag of fairly expensive bug poison I had just bought.

        Even though he wouldn’t help get rid of the unwanted things and he knew damn well that a lot of the things I have are business supplies that I need to make and sell and I spent a lot of money and time getting them, he kept yelling at me that I’m a hoarder and I need to throw everything away. It was so fucked up I can hardly believe it even happened. This man was so sweet to me for so long and did so much to help me get better and deal with everything that was happening to me. He had every advantage he could have had, to start with he’s a man and everything’s made for him, his parents have money and will do anything for him, and he speaks Spanish which gives people all kinds of opportunities here. He never took advantage of any of it and just blamed me for everything. I helped him get his degree and helped him do whatever he wanted to do. He has every advantage and still has been struggling to find another job after he lost his, yet I was somehow supposed to have been working when I had no ability to do anything.

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      2. It sounds like ‘paint-by-the-Nos’ to me.

        there appears to be a subgroup of men,who thrive on possessing women as sick pets. My friend’s spouse also took care of her for 13 years,while she made no $.But he’s very obv.doing it for her parents’ Upper-Middle goodies. However,what’s weird is how WELL he did it.I reckon that he lucked into doing for pay- -what gets him off anyway.

        2 years ago, in my last-ditch crack @ the Het-program,,i spoke to a guy of that sort.he wasn’t taken aback by my illness,sounded sympathetic,wanted to date in a way that didn’t tire me out (incl.sex].YEt,with all this personal goodness,steady job&not below av.looks: he was single @ 35 .

        …hadn’t found his vulnerable pet yet,i gather…

        In your case, it sounds like you steering towards being a less sick pet spelled the end of the appeal.You might’ve actually discovered a world outside of him ,if you kept on getting better.

        Gosh,this stuff is so tiresome….Females bothering to stake their lives on males.It’s such a warped pyramid of lies.Before it was direct coersion,&now it’s all “it’s for your own good!’.

        naturally, it doesn’t go beyond an audition process for Baby-making.

        Here am, ovulating& watching a doco on Dirty Dancin’.I become mesmerised by watching the lead turd twirl&flex….;really zero in on his back&arm muscles moving

        …because movement&balance of high skill dance=great indicator of agility[muscle health,neurological control behind co-ordination}.My eggs’re screening for healthy DNA for a phantom baby I’ll never want. Especially if the crux of it(like TYP reckoans}=to make a better daughter; -a more advanced version of ourselves

        I could only figure this out after 3 decades of absorbing all the LIES around this.Social brainwashing takes a little bit of hormonal truth&runs with it- spinning a tale which suits the phallocracy.

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      3. Oh no, he was definitely not happy having a sick little “pet” he had to take care of. He was sympathetic for a while, he saw all the awful shit that was happening to me but after a while he just got numb to everything I guess. He wanted me to be able to take care of myself so much and he wasn’t really able to do it all and just barely hung on. He always wanted me to be doing more but I was barely able to do all I did. When he saw I was getting sort of okay it was like he just wanted to unload me as a burden to him. He never established himself enough to make enough money and everything was so hard. We were only okay because his parents had money. But after I did all these things to get functional again and he saw how hard I had to work to do it, he was just tired of me and mad at me from all the work he had to do. Like he blamed me for not being able to do more and acted like I had held him back in his life even though I still managed to do a bunch of things to help him in his life despite everything.

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      4. He needed to go back to his parents because his life was so fucked up too. When we met he just had a basic job he hated and then quit and found something he liked better, but was still just a worker. He had no real plan just some things he wanted to do. I tried to build both of us up as much as I could and made him finish his degree and helped him, but he acts like I just dragged him down and all his failures in life are because of me. He didn’t take advantage of the help his parents had to give him when he was young and his parents always had a lot more to give him than mine did to give me.

        But yeah women combining our lives with men and counting on them is not a good idea. There’s too much that can go wrong and then we’re the ones that are left vulnerable. So much effort is invested in trying to work with them and help them with what they want to do and they usually don’t appreciate it.

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      5. ‘Us against the world’ comes with a claustrophobic component

        I replied on the wrong comment down below…

        on the parents: it’s more of that Y-bubble-wrapping.my uncle had a lot of that.how much of a runt must a male be to still fail WITH all wrapping?? incredible…,

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      6. they don’t appreciate cos it’s like water coming out of tap for them. It’s how it’s SUPPOSED to be&always been

        I share ur sentiment on how wasting our looks&spending all those years studying was a folly.People ‘oohed&aahed’over my prettiness since i was 16. I photograph exceptionallly well front on&posses model height.2 years ago i received a sugar-daddy request,which i laughed off. And flirting can be fun when u’re really into it

        I have 3 degrees &multiple other qualifications+languages. I was the academic star since i was 5 consistently up until I got infected @18. I still managed to top my class while staying in bed ,or hospital much of the time – when i was a kid.

        I got the last diploma 2 years ago, when i was in denial that i was forever gonna be ill.Via my typical ‘white-knuckle’ dedication

        Raunchel actually did go the route of modelling ,while also getting science degrees.And she is well off financially,but if you look @ her blog-she wrote about it being not all that pretty in several aspects.

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      7. and the weirdest thing is that i look back @ those pics&don’t recognise myself/ How could i look so nice while feeling so terrible?Did they breed us all with AliMcGraw syndrome: still looking impeccable …while wasting away

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      8. One of my best friends growing up became a model and got to enjoy her life making money getting dressed up nice and taking pictures. Then when she had kids and was done with it she was able to do whatever she wanted and had the resources to start a business. She’s into all this new age energy stuff so has made peace with how fucked everything is through that it seems and looks really happy. She was always so smart. When I look at her I feel so stupid and wish I had done modeling too.

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      9. it doesn’t require the enormous social drain of womens’ service jobs too.In fact, aloofness is a good thing.

        Mama wasn’t altogether stupid:
        AMong her free-loving she fitted in a pre-nup with my ex-step,which entitled her to half his assets.It amounted to a 3-bed house; 2 cars +home improvement budget.She added on a duplex now,which she’ll rent out . She still owns her flat back home too,which she was gifted …by her married boss

        I only now realise WHY she had my sis +possibly me as well. She was an engineer>then the blast fried her head,making her AI. I bought into her tale on how she quit to devote time to me, but she really did it to have an excuse to retrain in teaching for impaired kids- to not have to work full-time& not deal with complex mental tasks.

        When she moved here-she never tried to get her engineering degree approved,as there was no way to get her English &comp skills high enough thanks to her radiated, foggy mind.My sis’ birth gave her an op to do SAHM for a bit (dumping it on me often}~then live off parenting payment for her+carer ones for me.

        She could make it work cos she’s so good @ practising Professional Poverty.She knew all the loops….to the point of us drowning in luxury lotions given away by food rescue

        But yeah on the STEM front: Iran&Post-USSR spaces’re the only places full of X women engineers& chemists&specialist Drs.The open chauvinism i saw back there blasted the Lurve myth for me right open in childhood

        Ignorance can provide for a little passing bliss however. U would’ve never had the years of contentment with your ex,if u went into it with my eyes. I never got as much as a cuddle .!

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      10. Silly me for falling for ME being the reason she had such a brief career.this is why i studied butt off, figuring: “No kid=no problem”.+there’s no astronomical debt from Uni her.

        Here fem. engineers get worn down until they whittle away down

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      11. I did read her blog. Nothing’s pretty for us though, there are no good choices so it doesn’t really matter as long as we find something that pays well. I don’t care anymore. I’m just tired of being poor and I don’t believe anything is savable in this world, and if it is, it is definitely not from inside the system. This is such an evil trick to feed us all this equality nonsense. Sometimes I think women are better off somewhere where they are getting treated worse but at least being told the truth that they are garbage to their society. It’s so cruel being lied to. Women are able to succeed more in STEM fields in countries where they face more against them because they understand what they are up against. Whereas we are told how we’re equal our whole lives and so can’t take the abuse when we are confronted with it and shocked by reality.

        I definitely don’t regret all the studying I did because it’s what I want to do anyway but I regret thinking I could do something with it and I could use the system in place to help do something good. I wish I would have understood how ridiculous that was much sooner. I would have started a business, maybe done some modeling, much sooner had I had any idea of what the reality actually is. Maybe I could have spared myself a lot of suffering, gotten good medical care, land to live on in peace, and no worries about survival. Those things are all still just far off dreams.

        I am still thinking I should do some modeling now. I actually look even better than I ever have now, I feel sort of okay at a manageable level of pain and I don’t look like an emaciated zombie anymore. I would do alternative and cosplay type stuff so I think that’s better than mainstream stuff anyway and there’s no such thing as “model height” and all that for that kind of stuff. I’m little and baby faced and people older than me often think I’m 16, I don’t know how I thought I could ever be treated decently being a scientist.

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    3. European men ‘re tall thanks to a disparity in breast-feeding in 1st year. It may be the case with black men\womyn too

      I was exclusively breast-fed for 2 years &i’m the height of the av. white male.Germaine Greer pointed this out.now everytime i look @ really little women – – it saddens me

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      1. Height is such a complicated thing that is a combination of our genes and environment though. It’s influenced by nutrition but also has a set genetic component. I was breastfeed and had good nutrition, I’m a normal size for my genes. The average height for women is 5’4 and I’m an inch shorter. My dad was only 5’4. His brother was over six feet though. They were there in the same family getting the same nutrition, if anything my dad may have gotten treated better since they wanted a boy so bad and were so happy about having him, he just got the shorter genes.

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    1. Yes it is. It’s very painful and confusing trying to find someone to love. Were you always a lesbian Mary? Did you ever date men before?

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      1. I came out as a lesbian, as did many other formerly-het women, during the second wave; early 70’s. The lesbian energy then was full of enthusiasm and female fight-back. Exhilarating times.

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      2. The revolution of the 60s and 70s sounds so amazing. When I read stuff from then I’m totally blown away, like I’m living in this lifeless approximation of life and people used to be really alive. Woman Hating was one of the first books I read when I discovered radical feminism exists. It is full of such fire, she says it’s an action not just ideas, I’ve never seen anything like that before. It’s like people are zombies now, just living not really alive. All my generation can think of when we create movies and other art forms are things about zombies because all we see around us is decay and hopelessness, the undead lumbering around with no purpose or feeling. The revolution was mostly extinguished and people put back into place. I feel so full of hope reading stuff like that, that people can really feel so passionately and determined, then I look around and see a wasteland and my hope all gets sucked out.

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      3. Did you feel attraction to men before or were you just dating them because you were “supposed to?” Did you learn how fucked up they are and then get disgusted or just you never realized that you could be with women if you wanted? Were there women who were bisexual back then or did they just decide they like women and then be a lesbian only? Is “identifying” as bisexual a new thing? I feel so confused about how I feel. I really loved my ex and wanted to be with him but I don’t know if I could fall in love with a man again. They seem to be mostly predators and perverts or just stupid and mean. But I’m also afraid of actually publicly dating a woman. And I’m not part of any cliche and just alone.

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      4. I never felt any attraction to men or boys. I knew I was supposed to feel it, but didn’t. *All* social connections then centred around male-female couple-ism. I didn’t know women in any other context until the Women’s Liberation Movement in 1970. Then I burst into life!

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      5. When all those women realized they didn’t have to be with men did some women feel like they were bisexual or it was just they all discovered lesbianism was a possibility and wanted nothing to do with them any more? Do you believe some women are attracted to men? The women who write about how attraction to men is unnatural make a lot of good points. They really have to work hard to sell it to us.

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      6. yes,because Attraction =made -up concept.

        Women have a fluctuating fertile cycle (and i’ll stick my rape-adaptative portion too).They also have the ability to sniff out the best genetic match. Once they do that=the honeymoon stage sets in, the point of which is to get pregnant fast &leg it away from the sperm donor.

        ^i reckon This is why pregnant women get grumpy with their male partners&end up suffering violence from them. Grumpiness stems from the dude unnecessarily hanging around once his 3 min.jobs’re done to completion.

        And why there’s all this ‘female Viagra’ nonsense.Het monogamy’s anathema to women-cos you need a new genetic mix for every baby to justify the effort you’re putting into creating new life. It better be healthy.

        Also, breast-feeding kills libido stone-cold dead.So does menopause for most. Never in history of the world have women ever had to contend with as much horni-ness as we do now in the place-cos we menstruate for decades now.So all this soul-searching is a created, ahistoric problem really

        In fact, i feel like if i was out in the wild>i’d be humping several males multiple times a day ,while ovulating, but find some other way to come. This is what instinct tells *or rather screams @ me* to do.and it’s consistent with what other animals do

        Crazy theory of the week:

        What if female need to slowly, sensually prep for intercourse was satisfied by women in times past? maybe in a group Bonobo -kind setting& out of kindness -to ease the discomfort of mating. Whichever few males ever bother to learn this>>require teaching ;whereas all women know this skill instinctively. This is what sex IS for us!!!

        Why the hell would we crave something no male has natural interest in doing, eh?!If we were innately straight~we’d want none of it& find bliss in the 2 mins+ of poking *typically on offer* from them

        THere’s a tribe somewhere ,which actually has mothers deflowering their daughters with a stick before they’re sent off for raping by Head Male

        Like

      7. PIV is best for women AFTER we’ve come.^ more ammunition for my Prepping theory.And considering that bonobo females know very well to get themselves&each other off.

        Women,who claim to be Het,…spend all their time complaining about Men ..not being like Women.They appear to want a male ,who’s fundamentally a woman

        Compulsive serial monogamists (like my Ma)hop from 1 dood to the next – to stay ahead of the boredom.So that they’re never faced with assessing hetero-practice @ its’ core. Mine didn’t always bother with sticking to monogamy actually. She browsed online dating profiles BEFORE dumping the soon-to-be-Ex.Except for 5 years after my birth,she was never single for more than few months .Funny how her body told her correctly to never put itself thru the horror of pregnancy again&thus stay away from the cause.

        But no, she eventually obliged with diving back in…&immediately got knocked-up& came this-close to dying from abortion.& That still didn’t teach her!!!!She sounded deranged when I related some anti-het radfem to her

        She still nonchalantly dealt with UTI after 40 damn years of doing PIV without any official coersion. What can I say??She’s the poster-girl of effective Straight Brainwashing

        Worse still, she acted deranged about trying to get me on the dick Train too. Like, she hopefully asked if i was pregnant when i 1st got sick.I was 18!Which was the age she started aborting @

        ^^ not breaking me in `~=major reason for her lack of affection for me

        Like

      8. see,I never experienced or understood how ‘being in love’ with a man is even possible. It’s like i have a Sapphic mind,.,mixed in with fluctuating breeding hormones that only pop up for several days a month,,,\every other month. They make me process individual body parts on select males like they’re a tasty Leg ‘o’ Lamb…!ha

        Seriously, the thoughts went “there’s a juicy thigh over there”…Just an urge to Hump&Dump. Like that ASD detective in The Bridge.I don’t associate Lust with any connection. In fact < i wonder where those 2're directly oppositional

        I can pin-point the precise moment my ovum's ready to rock,cos this happens for a few days:
        I shop for mens' jumpers for myself,and suddenly the model with the square jaw'll pop out @ me! ! Or i become mesmerised by the Hercules body ratio {waist half the shoulders};+my hips start gyrating on their own….
        And yet my mind always knows Precisely what this is about.and that as soon as Ovum chills the hell out =i'll stop feeling like this horny,alpha-focused maniac.

        The last time i paid attention to any dude IRL was my incompetent dentist a year ago.`~
        &it infuriated me.Like:it's not even pleasant in the moment anymore
        This classically handsome Scumorama gave me a dry socket after wisdom teeth pull. Lesson learnt here"

        Never see a white dentist !!Dentistry here's overwhelmingly dominated by Indians+Asians.

        Like

      9. &all that Het relationship stuff is all new&created ,like yesterday.The only reason that it’s happening & we have any flexibility whatsover~product of our grandmas fighting for us &men damage-controlling. Only a sneeze ago they tortured+burnt us for centuries “`to chase us back into connection to them.They don’t appeciate nothing cos iROmance is set up as a mining industry for XX resources

        I can’t get over the fact that they can snap your neck anytime&maybe get away with it.&that they’re pushing you off a cliff with a flimsy parachute (AKA Making Lurve) countless times &derive sadistic pleasure

        We make to project an incredible amount of humanity on them ,to as much as stay in the same vicinity as them.”US against the world”=such a seductive concept too

        Liked by 1 person

  3. I’ve spent the last 40 years disappointed and demoralized about how that fizzled out. It has made me wonder why I was ever born. This is the lost-hope planet. The news just keeps getting worse and worse.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yeah my whole life has felt demoralizing pretty much. I grew up during “girl power” and got told I could do anything. I didn’t have anyone ever telling me I was any less, just got encouragement and expectations. Boys and men were no where near as bad (where I live) as they are now when I was growing up either. I did what I was supposed to in order to succeed in my own life and be able to do good things. I did all the education like I was always told was the way to take care of myself and make changes in the world and by now I’ve grown so extremely jaded. I’ve come to understand how everything is ruled over by the corporations and everything is run by male sadism. I always wondered why the government never did anything about rape, they say they want to help women succeed and there’s all this talk about stuff like pay gap but no mention of the most severe problem. Then I came to understand it’s because the whole point of society is so men can have us captive to rape us. So of course they’re not going to do anything to stop that, they’re just going to make a few superficial changes and put on a big show about it. Then after spending years of my life sick and dealing with injuries and seeing how there’s no help to get better and instead there’s predatory men to terrorize me if I look unwell and it’s even the fucking doctors, it’s just made me shut down and I find it hard to find any hope anymore. I don’t know what I am hoping for. I want to buy some land and get out of the city, and I would really love it if I could get people to do it with me, but at this point that’s such a big dream. I find all the things I used to think would be helpful stupid now, given what I know to be true now. I thought I could be a researcher or do some kind of science stuff and figure out ways to help people and animals and the environment by going through these things that have been set up, with degrees and organizations and all, but scientists are either puppets or some fringe outcasts who are never able to succeed. I can’t be a puppet and that wouldn’t help anyone. And women are just endlessly terrorized by men no matter what we do, then no matter how many women have said a man raped them/otherwise terrorized them he’s still welcome in the organizations. So fuck all of that. I don’t want to be a part of any of that and I feel betrayed and devastated for people telling me how I could do anything without telling me how much I would be tortured for it and how we’re so controlled you can’t do much anyway.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Actually there’re 2 competing theories on Who Invented Civilisation.

        TYP calls it “the long shadow of the Y”.No Paper Towels holds the opp.view: the women invented to try&reign men in

        I reckon that it was a coalition of Beta+Omega males, who duped women into helping them/

        I mean, Look @who’s served well by Society ,& who’s guaranteed a female,no matter how much strength they possess.And who actually runs this world .And who languishes in jails, dies in military combat &peaks as bullies in the school yard.And who risked being beaten to death,while inviting the ire of Alphas in trying to pass on their measly Y before it all began……

        A shocking amount of power is held by a handful of small, Jewish men.Soros alone is the Oz pulling the strings of the Leftie empire.Note that they wrote the 1st abrahamic religion

        I reckon that weak-ass doods were the ones who wrote the laws constraining alpha male violence.And the rape laws about women not being humped by other (alpha)males.Marriage is the perfect contraption for them.

        ..Then they concocted religion -to give an outlet to alpha-male stupidity&passion

        Russia hasn’t had an alpha leader since 19th century. And before that it had an Alpha queen.Yet during all this Beta&female-ruled/supported time It reached its’ Shining Hour. During the 70 years that it spent forking up the world in pursuit of Communist Internationalism,it found itself as a Nation.

        Now guess who was doing all of the leg-work to make it That powerful?Ant-hills of bespectacled Betas&Omegas in military&science,+women in Organisation +industrial fields

        Serial killers’re typically nerdy, quiet, outcast men.Code for :Omegas.Ted Bundy gets touted,but he was an exception to the rule.

        The most vicious mass-killers of the 20th century were all Betas, if not Omegas.(Stalin\hitler\Mao trio}

        I can’t believe that people get fooled by Putin’s peacock Alpha-display.:It’s a media-blitz. He’s really an ultra-clever lil’ Beta, who came to power in the sneaky way only a Beta can

        ..or that Trump really has any power ,or brains to do any of the evils he’s accused of. Its’ so painfully obvious that he’s puppeteer-ed by invisible Beta\Omega teams,playing the role of Head Buffoon

        It’s those fucking nerds ,who really keep us imprisoned in this hell-hole. THEY invented radiation +GMOS that make us sick. Every now&then they’ll throw a stupid, disgraced alpha like Weinstein under the bus _-_to deflect suspicion from themselves

        Like

  4. oh sister, I wanna hug &stroke your head so much! You really get the stuff of my generation.What do you do for fun? I’m demoralized to not even be able to swim anymore-it’s dangerous with my lack of balance &energy

    I’m in process of selling my home&buying elsewhere
    i’ve been looking @ rural places yearningly & they look so wistful…but i’m trapped in City territory –cos I’m totally dependent on delivery of goods&disabled support.I found a compromise by finding a place in a small town 20mins away from my city,where commuters live
    This is the most rural possible& it’s a joke.But it allows me to get a puppy&train it up for Asssistance.I ‘m getting a large Poodle!squeee!I always wanted a big dog..and i’d feel safer with 1

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    1. I am so lonely for female friendship, I had really great friendships growing up. My guy was the only friend I had for so long, all my old friends did the whole marriage and kids thing and most moved away while I went to college for many years. Then I became so unwell I wasn’t able to make any new friends for a long time. The only people I talk to now are online, that I met from feminist stuff and art stuff. I’m so glad for that though that I get to have the internet and talk to people from all over.

      The idea of doing stuff for fun has started to sounds weird to me honestly, it’s like “oh yeah that was that thing I used to feel some lifetimes ago.” Life has been so endlessly painful I feel like I’ve been curled up in a ball just trying to not get hurt anymore. I’m trying to start a new life for myself now. I had to move back in with my mom a few months ago after our lease was up with my ex and we broke up. So that’s not been fun lol. I’m working on my businesses and getting things going so hopefully I can start good things going for myself. I want to have some fun and enjoy life again and I feel such urgency because of all the health problems I have had and all the health problems I see people having make me feel like “old age” might be much sooner than I expected. I am yearning for nature and being surrounded by plants so deeply it hurts. City life is slowly eating away to me.

      I am going to make a bunch of things to sell and when I actually get to the making part that will be fun, right now I’m in the everything is fucking chaos part where I just have a bunch of boxes I had to move from my big nice house I shared with my partner who used to be sweet and loving to me, to my mom’s small townhouse where I now live in the living room like a studio apartment because we have to keep mine and her cats separate and also we need to do a bunch of work on the upstairs anyway. Lol my cats hang out with me more now though because they have no place else to go. That will be so nice for you to get a dog. I grew up with a dog and she was the best dog. She was the one who adopted the kitties because one kitty was outside and followed her home and then that led to having a bunch of kitties to love because my dog loved cats and thought she was a cat.

      That’s awful you can’t swim anymore. Is it even in the pool? Or just in the ocean? Swimming makes me feel like I am whole for a little while. I feel so much more pain when I am out of the water for too long. Being on land makes me feel weak and then I get in the water and it’s like it’s normal for me and I have strength and energy. I usually soak in the bathtub often too and it makes me feel so much less pain and more peace. Having low humidity feels awful to me too. I need things to be like a hot humid sauna to feel comfortable.

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