The unbearable lightness of female ASD

Honestly – I DON’T believe that ASD females share any experiences with ASD males in the social arena. I avoid any HFA forums because it’s a microcosm of what happens in the NT world: even more male-“dominated” (aka bullied). Males Aspies actually have the nerve to whine about how the good-looking, well-functioning female Aspies don’t wanna PIV them (the hussies!;-) I reckon that only the general neurological stuff like sensory & temperature sensitivity overlaps.

My diagnosing male moron of a clinician couldn’t for the life of me figure out why I was never friendless or acquintance-less at any stage of my life. Or why I was never befuddled by social norms in any of the 3 countries I’ve lived in. Or had any trouble learning languages. Or how feminism could be the only reason I wasn’t paired up. Bloody dude also made do all the damn work in diagnosing myself, fitting it to male norms and then….convince him that the female variations are valid…while getting paid a pretty penny for it!!

Not only can female Aspies not blow off their steam in the male-marauding ways, but we’re limited in the normal ways thanks to males hunting us. It’s nerve-wrecking for a woman or girl to be alone anywhere even in in broad daylight, but Aspies desperately need that isolated alone time to survive the daily exertion. Walking at night-time would be the perfect de-stressing tool if you didn’t have to be armed with a big dog & whatever fight equipment you can manage & be hyper-alert & have the MA pill ready.

Female HFAs are especially impoverished because they don’t get streamlined into cushy STEM careers with a lifelong red carpet of male perks (like my worthless on the spectrum sperm donor). They also gets screwed into having autistic kids because no one tells them that a)autism is highly hereditary; b)that 2 Aspies produce low-functioning autistic kids c)that their vulnerability acts like blood for sharks (extra nasty men).

It’s not known for certain that more male than females have ASD because the female ones are woefully under-diagnosed. I spent a whole decade in psych offices, being waved off with “depression & anxiety. take this pill, hop on a P and don’t bother us further, honey”. Even though I knew the whole damn time that the problem has got to be neuro – that’s why I got my head scanned early on (it showed nothing). I then looked at HFA symptoms and didn’t recognize the in myself cause they were male-as default. Only the push in the past 2 years for exposing the very different female symptoms online gave me the chance to figure it out.

But wait…, that wasn’t all! Having diagnosed myself, I now had to chase down a psych & GP to rubber-stamp it over the entire country cause it’s that hard to find somebody who diagnoses female adults & can be arsed to do it. I also needed the cash to do it and XXs belong to the impoverished class. After all that I was still faced with a doubting psych who barely modified the male criteria & therefore thought I was too functional before I arm-twisted him with my prep work.

The roadblocks are f-ing unbelievable for female diagnoses. There’s also the lack of motivation for formal rubber-stamping for self-diagnosed women & girls cause there’s zero support but plenty of stigma/employment risk.

Now we get to the unbearable lightness.

You see – I thank the Flying Spaghetti Witch on a Broom daily for having been born with such neurologically weird brains. Because it is this weirdness that enables me to take on the POV of Alice in Wonderland on the insane world around us. Cannabis Refugee Esq. proposed the theory the female autism is an adaptive mechanism to prevent the absoption of necrophilic norms (malestream society). This nicely aligns with my life experience of rejecting every oppressive norm thrown at me until I arrived at deeply radical feminism. 

Image result for albino bear
like this mama bear who doesn’t care that her baby’s oddly coloured


Related image
  • and this awesome quirky Hedwig twin

5 thoughts on “The unbearable lightness of female ASD

  1. Femonade (now the credited
    Cannabis Refugee Esq.) is gravely ill and in dire circumstances. If you think highly of her work – help her through a donation or other material support.


  2. Fellow female ASD seconding this. And I thank my brain for allowing me to see the truth about PIV, “beauty” ie feminization, and pregnancy as a six year old girl and NOT be brainwashed into thinking otherwise (as my female peers did, leading to my ostracization) as a teenager!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Also, my best/only friend in high school was as ASD as I was, but she was naturally more emotionally expressive than I am, more vocal about her feminist beliefs and (at the time) more “counter cultural” looking. So no “professional” even considered Asperger (which my diagnosis was at the time) or autism and instead went straight for the “catch-all for insufficiently patriarchal and demure females”, that stigmatising, victim-blaming hell of “Borderline Personality Disorder”!!! They drugged the shit out of her with antipsychotics, institutionalized her often, and she eventually committed suicide.

    Yes, unlike the autistic males and their high-paying STEM fields– there is no place in society for females with ASD and our unique talents and skills. Even non-ASD females have a hard time with the ass-kissing, male-pleasing and phoniness necessary to keep a job as a female in our society. Add to the sexual harassment from men, lack of promotions or being taken seriously, and having one’s appearance picked apart by both sexes and you get tons of women, autistic and not, feeling like “what’s the point”. And that leaves us from the frying pan into the fire of poverty and/or pregnancy, with or without asshole Nigel, and the sad knowledge that the “giftedness” and smarts we may have been lauded for as girls will be unrecognized and therefore pointless for earning income or accolades as adults. This also creates loneliness, as we are not around those with shared interests and the camaraderie that results from using talents to work with others on a shared goal.

    It’s ridiculous how autistic men expect autistic women magically put aside all of our sensory issues, as well as the hypersensitivity to pain some of us have, in order to submit to PIV with them, when even non autistic women (if below peak-brainwashing and in the company of a trusted female close friend/relative) admit THAT SHIT HURTS.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. With the exception of your political and social position, respectively, your blog and the tone of frustrstion (so relatable that i found myself nodding away in sheer empathy) from it directly reflects what im having to go through as we speak. I’ll share this post 🙂 thank you so much! Bless you and take care beautiful XX

    Liked by 1 person

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